Poetry

[twasadark]

So I haven't written poetry in more than twenty years, but for some reason have felt inspired to do so lately.  It's probably because of calamitycrow 's poetry recs.  I don't even know if what I'm trying to communicate here comes across.  I've never taken any sort of poetry class, and just one literature class - I'm a historian all the way, lol.  Perhaps this is glaringly obvious. Anyhow, feedback on punctuation and word choice and meaning or the lack thereof is so so welcome!  Even and especially the critical kind. :-)

I am a bird, fluttering, free,
squawking at
your hand that tries to wrap
around my beautiful spotted
plumage.
My intricate inlaid feathers
my hollow bones;
my inquisitive and seeking
eye
reveals my spirit,
soaring high and wide
unstoppable
unflappable,
diving, wheeling, chattering.
Knowing when to soar and
when to perch
on your finger,
a gentle breath:
alight
balanced
momentary


I watch it in
the dip above my heel.
Steady and thrumming,
predictable, and --
not.
Signaling power.
Purpose.
Perfection.
I feel it on my fingertips,
lub dub, lub dub, lub dub.
The beat carries on while
I sit and watch,
chair soft,
belly full,
night lying just outside my window.
Still, and
deep.
 

Comments

[pdragon76.livejournal.com]

I really like these, hon. Very nice.

They make me wanna get all poem-inspired again. I used to write poetry all the damn time. Haven't dabbled in ages.

Thanks for sharing. Great word usage, and I like the free style tempo. One thing I used to do was write free style poems, and then go back and try to smish them into something like iambic pentameter or some other structured form.

Some of them, it was disaster, because some poems is just made for freestyle. But others? The rhythm and consistency that situation forces you into makes for some interesting developments and changes. Something to try when you're bored, maybe?

But I think these are awesome as is, too. :)

[twasadark.livejournal.com]

Aww, thanks, Dragons! I actually did learn iambic pentameter in my one lonely literature class!! LOL. That's a great suggestion ... I may have to rewrite them at some point. Freestyle ... so there's a name for what I wrote.

I recently found a bunch of poems I wrote eons ago. Some were actually not too bad. It's nice to see that not everything I wrote back in the day is wretched, lol.

Thanks for the feedback. *smishes*

[calamitycrow.livejournal.com]

okay this kitty is poking you, cuz you should be writing poetry. yesh, yes you should.

and to (hopefully) inspire you, me and the human rec a poem every Friday here:

http://calamitycrow.dreamwidth.org/tag/mypoetryrecs

also? there is an awesome short drabble a day blog here, that this kitty highly recs:

http://www.ahandfulofstones.com/

[calamitycrow.livejournal.com]

you wrote poetry! (flails paws!) yay!

this was good - and this kitty needs MOAR!

[twasadark.livejournal.com]

hahaha - flails paws - I LOVE it! I'll see your kitty and raise you one.

[chocca2.livejournal.com]

These are lovely, hun.

haven't written poetry for ages myself. I love the flow and descriptions. very well done!

♥

[twasadark.livejournal.com]

Thank you! I'm so glad they seem to make sense. I never quite know what to think when I've written something, poetry or not!

*smishes*

[zed-pm.livejournal.com]

Great work! :)

[twasadark.livejournal.com]

Thanks! &hearts

[irishka1205.livejournal.com]

Beautiful!

[twasadark.livejournal.com]

Thank you! &hearts

[smilla02.livejournal.com]

I love these, sweetie!

[twasadark.livejournal.com]

Awww, thanks! &hearts