Fic: 3 am

[twasadark]

Title: 3 am
Author: twasadark
Rating: PG
Genre: gen
Words: about 1000
Summary: Dean can't always wear his game face.
Notes: Set between "Long Distance Call" (3.14) and "Time is On My Side" (3.15). Thanks to martinemonster for her awesome beta-fu! Also, when I get around to podficcing this story I'll include the song "Storm" by Lifehouse, so feel free to listen to it here if you'd like ...

The sky is red, blood-colored, shot across


 

Comments

[redheadforever.livejournal.com]

Unbelievable. That dream, Dean walking along the tracks, vividly experiencing the journey on the way to being run over -- then waking himself up before impact to the lovely tune of a nascent panic attack.

And how does it subside? Sammy, showing a giving side he's woefully deficient in in Show. Hold him, it'll all be alright. I can see him having learned the tender forehead kiss and the innocent spooning from his own childhood, from Dean chasing away the monsters that couldn't be rocksalted out of oblivion because they came from the treacherous, tortuous white-hot-terrifying Id Asleep.

With Dean, the right to give comfort must be negotiated, pleaded for like a most complicated and probably painful series of most zealously desired sexual acts. Poor man, that the act of being given any sort of comfort throws him into such alien territory. Amazing conundrum, that -- he taught Sam to be normal well enough to fit in with Jess, but he has no give-and-take of his own when it would result in his being given simple human comfort.

I liked very much that this was gen. It needed to be. Dean needed to be physically and emotionally unattached for it to work, as unaccustomed to a touch of simple warmth as he is on the show (why the scene of his djinn-generated mother holding his face and the emotions ripping through his face like an innocent emotional orgasm [thank you, Jensen, for that thing of beauty] held such a degree of extraordinary power).

You got the night panic attack very well; a bit truncated and less desperate, but oh, a warm living Sammyblanket WOULD do wonders to shortcircuit the anguish, as we saw that day when his baby was among the missing.

So close to the end, and if he cracks, reneges to save himself -- and this for me is the most frightening torture of all. DEAN CAN GET OUT OF THIS, *ANY* TIME HE SAYS THE WORD. It means Sam's death, but Dean can live and go on while having skipped The Pit.

Even for Dean, the temptation must be overwhelming at times.

Damn, somebody needs to write a version of THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST, SPN-style. Pronto.

You podfic, and you write gloriously. Dang, a double-threat creator!

*roses and chocolates to the author*

Red

Happy Deanwoman happy to be FIRST! to thank you

[muffaletta.livejournal.com]

Just lovely!

[just-ruth.livejournal.com]

This is too real; we've all been there - awake in the night with your heart racing and knowing that there's no one there who can help. I was sweating with Dean.

Well done.

[irnan.livejournal.com]

Oh, boys. Dean's terror was heartbreaking, and Sammy not even saying anything, just there with him, arms around him... lovely.

*sniffles*

[apgeeksout.livejournal.com]

Oh, boys... Nicely done!

I like that you don't know it's a nightmare until the second paragraph.

[swanseajill.livejournal.com]

I really liked it. I know opinion is divided on the way Dean would be acting right now with the end so close, but I think it's totally realistic that he'd be having nightmares and that in the middle of the night he'd be threatened by full blown terror at the thought of going to Hell. Who wouldn't? He's not superhuman.

I thought this was beautifully done.

[kimmer1227.livejournal.com]

That was heartbreaking. It is human that Dean would be totally freaking out at this point. He's a big damn hero, but he's not above real human emotion. I can imagine all kinds of horrifying night terrors. Oh, Dean.

Sam was perfect. What can he really say. He offered the only support he could. His presence. Oh, Sam.

Great job.

[lovetheguys.livejournal.com]

That was a brilliantly-written, descriptive story that had me hyperventilating right along with Dean. I imagine he's having a lot of similar nightmares, and I bet Sam is comforting him in just that way. Lovely! Love, Robin

[iamstealthyone.livejournal.com]

He feels truly relaxed for the first time in … how long? A little more than 51 weeks.

In the last seconds of consciousness before sleep takes him, he wonders if he will ever feel it again.

Oh, Dean.

It hurts to think not only of what it'd be like in hell for him, but also of these horrible nightmares he'd have leading up to his demise.

Nicely done.

[apieceofcake.livejournal.com]

I've been wondering if we would see this in the show, personally I'd like too..and then you write it :-)

Nicely done, thank you :-)

[erinrua.livejournal.com]

This is just gorgeous. I'd wish they had a moment like this, when all we see is the fear and helplessness and the terror neither wants the other to see, driving them apart. I'd wish it could happen just like this, somewhere the camera doesn't see.

Oh, boys .... *wibble* Achingly poignant.

~ Erin

[twasadark.livejournal.com]

Oh, you RULE with the comments! :-) Thank you so so much for your kind words. They really mean a lot. Life has been pretty tough lately, but at least I can still write and hopefully bring a little bit of diversion to others.

As for a new version of The Last Temptation of Christ ... hmmm? I'll definitely read it if you write it! Maybe Sammy as Mary Magdalene? ha ha!

Thanks again, hon.

[twasadark.livejournal.com]

Thanks! :-)

[twasadark.livejournal.com]

Thank you! Unfortunately, you are right - we have all been there freaking out about something or another ... thank God that my freak attacks don't involve going to hell, however! :-)

[twasadark.livejournal.com]

I didn't realize until you mentioned it, but yeah, I guess Sam didn't really say anything, huh? And neither did Dean. I suppose I dig the whole 'wordless communication' thing.

Thank you SO much for your kind words. You've made a rough day smoother. :-)

[anotherhack.livejournal.com]

good god, that stopped me breathing for a bit.

[twasadark.livejournal.com]

Thanks for reading and commenting! It makes me smile. :-)

[twasadark.livejournal.com]

God knows I dissolve into terror at much lesser threats, myself! Thank you for your kind words - they mean a lot.

:-)

[twasadark.livejournal.com]

Thank you so much for your kind words. They are like treasures to me. :-)

[twasadark.livejournal.com]

Thank you! You always have such wonderful comments! Smooshies to you! :-)

[twasadark.livejournal.com]

Thanks, hon! Your comments make me smile. :-)

And I'm really looking forward to listening to The Cost on podfic. Weeeee!

[twasadark.livejournal.com]

Hey, I'd LOVE to write this into the show! If only they'd give me a call ...

Thanks for your kind words. :-)

[twasadark.livejournal.com]

Thank you SO much for your kind words. They are better than Reese's Peanut Butter Cups! (and those are my *favorites*). :-)

[twasadark.livejournal.com]

Awww, thanks! It's so rewarding to freak someone out touch someone. :-)

[tahirire.livejournal.com]

I thought it was awesome. *hands you cookies*

So much heartache, and so much love between them, and they are such brothers that of course they never let it show. *wibbles*

This is perfect. :-) I hope your next week is less craptastick. :-)